Or: Kids and Their “Challenging Behaviors”
Whining. Tattling. Shutting down. Tantrums. Throwing stuff.
One thing I’ve learned about all of these behaviors – from Dr. Ross Greene in his book “The Explosive Child” (you should DEFINITELY check it out, even if your kiddo is not explosive) – is that they all come from the same problem: the kid doesn’t know how to handle the current situation.
Another thing I’ve learned as a parent and educator?
Throwing a tantrum back only makes things worse.
The best thing we can do for our kids (and ourselves) when they throw fits is to stay calm. Do some deep breathing. Recognize that they are having a really hard time at the moment, and we can help them get through it… if we are able to control ourselves.
And there’s the rub. Because so many of us, as fully functioning adults, still to this day tend to have difficulty controlling our emotions. How many of us can honestly say that we stay kind and loving and under control at all times?
So, why do we so often expect better from our kids than we do from ourselves? I dunno, Batman, sounds pretty unreasonable to me. I admit, I’m not perfect at any of this. But the fact that now I know when I’m messing up… I mean, I think that might be a step to getting better.
I will not guarantee that if your child joins Luff Learning, I will *never* yell at them. I’m human. I make mistakes. I get frustrated with kids’ behaviors sometimes, since they’re not perfect either. But, I can guarantee that if I do yell… I will also apologize. I will also try to make it right with the kiddo. Because I believe that kids are human, and deserve to be spoken to with respect.
In my next post, I will write more about how to respond to some specific challenging behaviors that kids tend to exhibit. For now, I’ll leave you with this resource that you can try when your kid is flipping out, and you’re on the verge of doing the same. You can practice this with your kiddos, as well; I absolutely love how accessible it is! In the heat of the moment, you don’t need to go through the whole mindfulness spiel; you can just try the “starfish breathing.” The guy in the video doesn’t mention this, but I think it’s important: one helpful technique while practicing this is to focus on the feeling of your finger tracing your hand. Here’s the video. Hope this helps! Until next time, friends 😉